(no subject)

It is the familiarity that is most striking. It has been years since I lived here in oak ridge. I was 6 or 7 and mom was working on becoming the first full time female fire fighter in rural metro Knoxville. We came here as much as anything cause mom was broke. Grandma and grandpa had converted the basement into essentially an apartment for us to live in. We left after one time many "incidents" with grandpa while he was drinking. He was a man full of anger pretty much all his life. He barely kept in check when sober. Sober tended to end about 3 in the afternoon. We left when I was 10. Despite grandpa's rages this was still one of my happier places in child hood. It was here I learned to read, where I discovered the worlds of fantasy and science fiction, where I discovered it is okay to be smart.

So here I am 20 some odd years later and walking here is still familiar. The same cookie jar is in the kitchen. The gin and vermouth is kept in the same spot. The same steps down into the basement still creak with every step. Minor changes throught to be sure, but all in all so very familiar as to feel unreal as I pass through the hall like a memory one has near waking. Waking only to discover your are not back home with mom. Of course I am home. This will always be home really the constant I can return to. One needs their landmarks to navigate by I suppose.

TechNoir

(no subject)

I am looking forward and dreading monday. For those who dont know I have an interview monday here in oak ridge. It means moving in with the grandparents for probably 6 months or so. I would be working for Client Logic doing telephone customer service. For those of you are earthlinkers that should add a bit of arony for ya.

I need the job. Whats more I need the financial break of living on the cheap while I make money and build up resources. But I do dread it. I dread loosing all the people in my life in ATL. I know that I won't completely loose them but like any time you leave home you loose something. And Atlanta over the past few years has been home to me. I am fairly certain I will get past this interview in flying colors, so it is all but a done deal at this point. No job in ATL. Job in Oak Ridge. Kind of a no brainer, but it is a little sad as well.

I will deal with it. I always do. I do have to stop the slow slide. Please forgive the absence.

TechNoir