The nut

[technoir]

In case you thought Laurie was the only one who had to deal with nut jobs at work. I have removed names and identifying info from this but I had to share the recurring nut I have had to deal with.

Customer stated that he missed his breakfast. Customer then inquired why
he missed his breakfast. Writer informed customer that he did not know
why he missed his breakfast. Customer found it absolutely appalling that
the writer would not know why he missed his breakfast. Writer sat in
dumbfounded silence for a minute or so until he asked the customer what
the issue was. Customer again repeated that he missed his breakfast and
inquired why if he thought that his vehicle was at fault for missing his
breakfast. Again the writer stated that he did not know. More
dumbfounded silence ensued. Finally writer asked customer what Daimler
Chrysler could do for him. Customer then asked what Daimler Chrysler is.
Writer informed customer that Daimler Chrysler is a company. Customer
asked what the company did, and writer replied that the company made
vehicles. Customer asked if the company had a president, and writer
replied that the company had a CEO. Customer stated that that was all he
needed to know and that his assistants would handle the situation from
hear. Further dumbfounded silence followed. Writer asked if there was
anything else DCX could do for him. Customer stated that there was
nothing else and thanked him for his time. Writer was dumbfounded.

Customer called in about the above issue. This customer states that his
legs are both burnt from the heater in the vehicle. Customer states he
gets extreme dehydration.Customer states he is drinking powerade and
gatorade for the problem and it is not fixing the problem. Customer
states that when he is at Starbucks he sees purple people putting drugs
into his coffee which is causing him to not be able to drink his coffee.
Customer states he can not work. Customer states that the vehicle is
making him miss his breakfast. Customer states somebody is causing 3
problems with his vehicle. Customer wants to know who is doing this and
DaimlerChrysler knows. Customer thinks DaimlerChrysler is doing this to
him. Customer wants to know why DaimlerChrysler would terrorize him.
Agent replied that they did not think DaimlerChrysler is doing this to
the customer. Customer contacted Jack in the Box, Pizza Hut, and
Mcdonalds about the burn on his leg. Customer states they have not fixed
the problem. Customer states he went to a dermatologist and the
prescribed him a cream in which he is using for the burns on his leg.
Customer wants to know what is going on with his vehicle. Customer states
he has injured his shoulder. Customer wants to know what agent would do
about this issue. Customer states he does not like missing food and
getting sick. Customer states the landlord is on top of his. Customer
wants to know why he would be terrorized for no apparent reason. Agent
asked customer if there was anything else they could assist him with.
Customer said no and thank you for your time.

Customer calling about his above issues. Customer wanted to know if each
vehicle has it own vin. Writer informed customer that they did. Customer
rambling on about service difficulties. Customer did not state any
problems with his vehicle.Customer stated that he would come up with more
information and call back.

Owner called back again to discuss a negative feeling he was having about
the vehicle. Owner alleges that he feeling like someone else is supposed
to have the car. Writer suggested that owner discuss these feeling with
some outside of the DCCAC. Owner will consider speaking with another
person.

Caller thinks he is being terrorized by the O.J. Simpson case. He states
he thinks it will help him relieve the pressure from his head if he can
contact the lawyers that represented O.J. Simpson. He also states they
have put drugs in his food and drink. Owner also stated the police do not
know who is terrorizing him. Agent informed caller that the only lawyer
she knew in the Simpson case was Johnnie Cochran who had passed away.
Caller thanked agent for this information. Caller stated he would
research this.

Comments

[virtualmel.livejournal.com]

*blink, blink* *comprehension failed*
Sounds like someone needs a nice, relaxing vacation in a rubber room.

[technoir.livejournal.com]

No Doubt.

[xarcoss.livejournal.com]

and this is the reason we should still have labotomies.

[hapersmion.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I do think that your customer needs professional help - but not from xarcoss...

[hapersmion.livejournal.com]

Although the removal of a crazy person's lab is probably a good idea...

(Can't help it, it just has to happen sometimes.)

[technoir.livejournal.com]

to be sure.

[technoir.livejournal.com]

Well guy,
You can have all the labotomies you feel you want.

[xarcoss.livejournal.com]

hhmm one would think you could only get it done once *shrugs*

[hapersmion.livejournal.com]

Unless you have more than one lab... (Yeah, still going with the mocking of the mispelling.)

However, you could probably get more than one lobotomy, since you've got more than one lobe in your brain, if they just did them one at a time. You might not be able to ask for the subsequent ones, though.

[xarcoss.livejournal.com]

heh so thats why your mocking me. Why am I starting to feel like the whipping boy?

[technoir.livejournal.com]

well dont, we pick on you cause we like you. Kind of like sticking the girl in elementery shools hair in an ink well. Okay maybe not like that at all but you get the idea. We dont actually pick on the ones we dont like.

[hapersmion.livejournal.com]

My English major urges can only be held in check for so long before they break free and destroy someone. :)

[slack-poster.livejournal.com]

By this, do you mean asking "you want fries with that"?

[fireshaper87.livejournal.com]

*blink blink blink* w-what? I... I don't understand.... *blink blink* My head hurts after that... *blink* Did you call the police to give them the phone number of someone quite obviously escaped from an insane asylum? *blink blink*
*goes and hides in a corner, checking occasionally to se if "customer" is outside my window*

[technoir.livejournal.com]

Poor mae. Dont worry. he is behind.

[fireshaper87.livejournal.com]

He's behind me?!?!?!?!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
*runs away screaming at the top of her lungs... then comes back through her new secret entrance {aka: kicked hole in wall) realizing that she is missing vital updates on LJ*

[pipistrella.livejournal.com]

Was he for real? I mean, this wasn't a prank call?

It sounds, very seriously, like he was off his medication.

[technoir.livejournal.com]

each of the seperations of paragraphs there is a different entry in the database. He has calling for over a year. i just included the bits that were most recent and did not have I dentifying info.