(no subject)

[technoir]

I dont want anyone to think this is asking for sympathy pr pity. I try to not be that person. I dont always succeed but I try.

But fucking enough already!!!

Aparently my student loan got away from me. The how is not important. Hell I am almost the same person any more. But somewhere in the shuffle of life it got lost. more than a decade out of school they took my tax return which is is I guess as it should be. They have that ability after all. It sucked but there you go. I called the Department of education and asked them to send me the information on it. This information got turned over to a collection agency. They called friday while I was out and left a message. I just got the message today cause my roommate just got back in to town. I called. I want to start trying to fix this. Immediately the woman begins in with threat of 15% garnishment of my wages. That if i dont pay her now the process will be filed friday at 3. I tried to get her to call me back friday when i get paid. She says no that is unacceptable. I will be calling her tommorrow to arrange payment of some kind. The studently loan after interest is more than 3,908 dollars. I still have a pile of medical bills i am trying to wade through. So many infact I have lost track with how much I need to pay. The funny part was i was going to sit down friday afternoon and go thru everything. Oh and my insurance is going to cost more now as well. I am trying to do it right. I am trying to make it all fit. Damn it. Why wont it work.

edit: Also my bank account is in the hole.

for 4 and a half years now I have been trying to climb out of the hole. 4 years since i was homeless and living in my car and borrowing friends couches from time to time. Yet everytime I think have got a handle on things something else happens. What is it going to take? Do I have to fucking die. Sometimes it feels like it would be fucking easier.

But no, before anyone thinks I have gone suicidal relax. i am not stupid or a coward. I will keep trudging along but damn it when is it enough. Cant i have my life too? Look here is my deal with fucking universe either give a break or fucking do me in.

I am done.

TechNoir

Comments

[forestblend.livejournal.com]

I really sorry, bro... there really aren't any words that will make it seem any better. All I can say is admire your persistance and determination to get it all straight, and the credit people like to throw threats and make it seem as if you have no other options but THEIR way. Try and speak to someone who knows about credit and finances and see if thy can find you a better foothold. Keep it up, my friend, the light at the end of the tunnel is not always a muzzle flash.